The past few weeks have been difficult on me physically and thus emotionally and mentally. It use to be that escaping into the woods was the perfect reset and could get me back on track to being a functional member of society. Now, I have to make sure that I will not use up all my spoons (spoon theory) if I want to enjoy something that was once an integral part of my everyday existence.

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For that reason, I choose to return to the familiar path at Sugarcreek that was easily accessible for a short walk. I choose not to take Belenos as the energy of keeping up with a puppy in the woods whose excitement is contagious just doesn't exist at the moment. It would have worn me out, requiring days of recovery. I went early in the morning to avoid encountering other people. It was much colder than I expected, but that actually ended up with benefits. The slight frost gave amazing picture opportunities. Besides other hikers being absent, there was an absence of insects, birds, and other animals. There was a calm peacefulness that I have found often accompanies morning as we approach winter.

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I love walking the Osage Tunnel every season. It is consistent in form but different in dress, similar to an altar. An altar is, more often than not, a table or platform of some sort covered with a colored cloth, items of spiritual importance, and flowers or other seasonal display. In the spring the osage trees are a dark brown speckled with small splashes of bright green of new leaves. Summer woods has lightened to a softer brown and has a dark green gown flowing over everything. The woods of fall is turning to grey brown speckled with flat green and pale yellow and brown leaves that litter the ground.  The Osage Tunnel of wither is bare and seems lifeless and some would call it eerie. I know, however it is just dormant life, sleeping, as all living entities must do in order to grow anew.

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Even though I took the precautions I usually do to ensure I wouldn't suffer any physical depletion, I have spent the rest of the weekend doing the minimum required of me. I t is difficult to have theses memories of exploring the wilderness in its uncultivated wildness and now need to have cleared established paths and cultivated habitats in order to immerse myself in nature safely. Part of me is heartbroken and part of me is grateful.

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Due to this course, I now understand that without the  efforts of those who came before who insisted on preservation and conservation of these accessible spaces,

I would not be able to continue connecting with nature. I will continue to strive to return to a healthy state that will allow me to return to the unfettered wild, but now I will always appreciate the spaces that have been created that  I  can currently wander through.​

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Not all who wander are lost.​